Above pics were taken last spring. In the middle of a world wide Pandemic because of Covid 19 (corona virus) it’s good to remember the goodness of the Lord and also to be grateful for our many blessings!
How does one get to a place or time in their life that whenever one slows down, whether it be in a moment of quiet time in their favorite chair, or on a bus ride to work, or sitting in a tiny mountain village church, that upon seeking God’s voice, asking for His touch or a whisper in the ear, that all that person senses is Him telling them that His love is faithful, strong, that even though it may be undeserved it is unwavering, unending and unmeasurable.
That’s where I am in my life right now and have been for several months. It is intense and feels a little desperate, I wonder why that is all God seems to want me to know from Him – like I just can’t seem to get it or to make it stick. I know in my heart it is a good place for me to be. It is where I am suppose to be right now and I will remain here until I am moved on.
It is a bit of a lonely place and not just a little scary and I find myself wondering if I will ever be moved on to a different place. It has been a reflective time, being reminded of my part in putting myself in this place and how much of it has been out of my control. Mostly, I want this time to serve it’s purpose, that the growth and maturity that should be a part of it goes deep, that my heart would be healed to be able to be the person God would have me be. Such times as these, I feel, can make or break a person and I want to do, to chose, what it takes to make it all worthwhile. Giving up is not an option, nor is bulldozing my path through. It is not a time of questioning why or how, even though that is just what I am doing. It seems that it is a matter of taking one step at a time, one step at a time. (And me – a person who often has only one speed – head down and full bore ahead.)
Recently, I was reading a post by Lesley Leyland Fields. She was talking about writing your story and how important it is to share the good, the bad, the hard, the intimate… she shared about her dad’s room as she was sitting with him as he was dieing and I remembered doing that very thing a little over a year ago. For me it was not so much that I remember the surroundings, it was more the feeling of peace, quiet trust that God was in control, sadness that dad’s time was coming to an end, hope for his eternal life and hard prayers that his struggle would be swift and as painless as possible. Being with family and sharing our faith in the goodness of our Heavenly Father is a memory that is etched deep in my heart. It was a time of unity and being drawn closer to one another.
I wrote the above post a few months ago but did not get it posted. It is still very much what is going on in my heart. And now that we are in the midst of a pandemic the realization that God’s love is with us in a time that, at best, is a confusing and worrisome struggle, at worst, a time of great loss, turmoil and terrifying fear.
Anne Voskamp writes: This is the time for prayer warriors that don’t think that prayer is the least thing we can do but the most we can do…
Yes and amen!