Tag Archives: God’s love

Being Vulnerable

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    Lupine

Dew Drops

Blue Beauty

Penstamen

Sammy Dog

Above pics were taken last spring.  In the middle of a world wide Pandemic because of  Covid 19 (corona virus) it’s good to remember the goodness of the Lord and also to be grateful for our many blessings!

 

How does one get to a place or time in their life that whenever one slows down, whether it be in a moment of quiet time in their favorite chair, or on a bus ride to work, or sitting in a tiny mountain village church, that upon seeking God’s voice, asking for His touch or a whisper in the ear, that all that person senses is Him telling them that His love is faithful, strong, that even though it may be undeserved it is unwavering, unending and unmeasurable.

That’s where I am in my life right now and have been for several months.  It is intense and feels a little desperate, I wonder why that is all God seems to want me to know from Him – like I just can’t seem to get it or to make it stick. I know in my heart it is a good place for me to be.  It is where I am suppose to be right now and I will remain here until I am moved on.

It is a bit of a lonely place and not just a little scary and I find myself wondering if I will ever be moved on to a different place.   It has been a reflective time, being reminded of my part in putting myself in this place and how much of it has been out of my control.  Mostly, I want this time to serve it’s purpose, that the growth and maturity that should be a part of it goes deep, that my heart would be healed to be able to be the person God would have me be. Such times as these, I feel, can make or break a person and I want to do, to chose, what it takes to make it all worthwhile.  Giving up is not an option, nor is bulldozing my path through.  It is not a time of questioning why or how, even though that is just what I am doing. It seems that it is a matter of taking one step at a time, one    step    at    a    time.   (And me – a person who often has only one speed – head down and full bore ahead.)

Recently, I was reading a post by Lesley Leyland Fields.  She was talking about writing your story and how important it is to share the good, the bad, the hard, the intimate…  she shared about her dad’s room as she was sitting with him as he was dieing and I remembered doing that very thing a little over a year ago.  For me it was not so much that I remember the surroundings, it was more the feeling of peace, quiet trust that God was in control, sadness that dad’s time was coming to an end, hope for his eternal life and hard prayers that his struggle would be swift and as painless as possible.  Being with family and sharing our faith in the goodness of our Heavenly Father is a memory that is etched deep in my heart.  It was a time of unity and being drawn closer to one another.

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I wrote the above post a few months ago but did not get it posted. It is still very much what is going on in my heart. And now that we are in the midst of a pandemic the realization that God’s love is with us in a time that, at best, is a confusing and worrisome struggle, at worst, a time of great loss, turmoil and terrifying fear.

Anne Voskamp writes: This is the time for prayer warriors that don’t think that prayer is the least thing we can do but the most we can do…

Yes and amen!

Going Deeper into Trust!

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This is a strange thing!  The sun is on the south side of the house.  The reflections of light is from our front door window which is on the north side.  How did that get there!

This is a strange thing! The sun is on the south side of the house. The reflections of light is from our front door window which is on the north side. How did that get there!

Quotes taken from “Ruthless Trust” Brennan Manning (pages 4 & 5)

…”I can state unequivocally that childlike surrender in trust is the defining spirit of authentic discipleship…I would add that the supreme need in most of our lives is often the most overlooked… the need for an uncompromising trust in the LOVE of God…there are times when it is good to go to God as might a ragged beggar to the King of kings, it is VASTLY superior to approach God as a little child would approach his or her papa.” (emphasis mine)

In the preceding paragraph he had asked one of his friends to define the Christian life in a single sentence, the friend quickly said… “I can define it in a single word:  TRUST.”

When Jesus was asked how to “hasten the the advent of the Kingdom of God?” He said “Trust in God and trust in me.” (John 14:1)  “Trust was not some feature out at the edges of Jesus’ teaching; it was its heart and center.  This and only this would bring on speedily the reign of God.”

Trust is so foundational – yet can be so fleeting.  The minute something goes wrong or not according to plan I begin to worry, wringing my hands and crying.  There have been times in my life when the situation was hard enough that I got pretty close to the camp of “Despair”.  Age and experience has help me to be closer to full and complete trust in my God of Love yet I long for it to be the very air I breathe.

“Taste and see that the Lord is good!”  Do I remember this when sickness lingers, relationships struggle, financial trouble looms on the horizon? I want to!  Do I turn to the God of the Universe who created each star and planet and all that dwells upon the earth when it seems that the world has tilted to the ugly side where war and hatred run rampant?  I want to!  Do I think about the fact that the Lord of the Heavens is keeping a place for us in His mansion when life seems short yet too hard to manage?  I sure want to!  Yet my struggles seem so small and insignificant next to a person who lives in poverty, filth, ruin.

Trust comes hard at times!  It is a lifetime of work, of laying down burdens, self-will, anger, hurt, frustration and a taking up of the Goodness of God – remembering His kindness, mercy, unending love.

We are praying for a close relative who is going through some major health issues right now.  I thought of her as I listened to the words from a favorite worship song…”Savior lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you will lead me.  Take me deeper then than my feet would ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.”  There are times when we have no control over the trials in our life other than the decision of how we are going to get through them. That is when our TRUST IN THE LORD is the calm in the storm!

I am trusting thee Lord Jesus
Never let me fall
I am trusting thee forever
and for all!

Kimmy