Cruel Honesty


Beautiful new snow fell yesterday through this morning.  Everything is fresh and white.  Yet I find I have a heavy heart today.

I feel like this doggy looks!

Even though snow is beautiful, clean, white, and pure it can be a burden.

Even though snow is beautiful, clean, white, and pure it can be a burden.

Sometimes life has bumps in the road, and we feel like we have clouds following behind us.

I turned and saw this darkness behind me.

I turned and saw this darkness behind me.

Or we feel threatened by the clouds in front of us.

Heavy clouds coming down the hillside.

Heavy clouds coming down the hillside.

We find ourselves hurt by the actions of others and yet I must say I am guilty of doing the very same thing.  If you wonder what I am talking about here is one example.  I have been guilty of talking bad about someone, (Why WHy WHY!! do I do that) then later I hear that the person I dumped on is talking bad about the person I talked bad about and it hurts because I feel like they should just keep that opinion to themselves!  I am sure you get how crazy that is.  I gave someone ammunition to fire at another person and then am upset when they use it.  TWISTED!  I  SO need to zip MY lip!  Better yet, cut my thoughts off at the pass!  Why do I feel I should have an opinion about everyone and everything.  There is always so much under the surface that causes people to act the way they do and I, as a mere human, have no way of knowing what makes someone do the things they do.  I need to strive to be non-judgmental and when I fail in that area I need to work at not spreading my poison around.  Now would be a good to time ask others to forgive me when I have failed and dump yuckiness upon them.

I heard the expression this morning (I can’t remember where, I am thinking it was in a song by Taylor Swift).  It included the phrase –  “casual cruelty in the name of being honest”! And a BIG alarm went off in my head!   Sometimes we feel it is our DUTY to give our opinion to someone about something that seems so innocent and we might even think it is for “their benefit” and yet it can be hurtful and non-productive.  If I think someone’s sweater is too tight or not the right color is it my place to tell them?  If I don’t like something someone made – a craft project gone haywire for example – must I tell them I don’t like it?  When someone sings off key during worship or even singing along with the radio does it really do them a service to slap them up-side-the-head with the revelation of the truth?  This is another area that I need to grow in.  I believe it is called tact (definition:  a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations, also a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful or aesthetically pleasing.)  Yes, please I want THAT gift!  Is Tact a Fruit of the Spirit?  The opposite of tact is when we puke words all over someone.  I am just now reminded of the verse about “what comes out of the mouth shows what is inside.” very paraphrased.    As an aside – if I have something in my teeth or toilet paper stuck to my shoe please do me the favor of letting me know and I will do the same for you.  Bottom line:  may what comes out of our mouth be beneficial at all times!

Finally, I would ask that we have grace for one another just as our Lord and Father has for us.  When someone is not acting like their usual self, rather then getting mad or offended or distancing ourselves from them wouldn’t it be better to try to get understanding?  I am often guilty of thinking my toes have been stepped on, I think I like to be offended – it makes me feel better about myself.  TWISTED AGAIN!  It takes time and work – effort – to get this understanding I am talking about.  Things have been tough at work lately.  We have been under a remodel for about 6 weeks and then computer problems for the last week.  We have had to go in early to clean up construction dust on Mondays, and then the final week of moving stuff around to get finally settled.  It has been HARD!  I have felt like I am coming apart at the seams at times.  We are now all settled into our “new digs” and it is lovely, wonderful, and I believe well worth the effort.  We, each one of my fellow employees, also have our share of stresses in our individual lives and when you add them all together it can become a pot that boils over, which happened this week, thus my heaviness.  Thankfully we love each other and are all able to forgive and get understanding.

Sometimes, when we step back, we get the whole picture and feel that all will be well again!

The big picture shows the looming clouds but also the sun shining all around.

The big picture shows the looming clouds but also the sun shining and the water sparkling..

Having grace for one another helps us not hold grudges, helps us think twice before we share a “juicy tidbit” of worthless information that only wounds another, helps us desire to build-up another rather then tear down, helps us NOT spread “CRUEL HONESTY”

Hold me accountable!


About cascadecountry

I am finding that being grateful makes what you have more than enough!!!! I am grateful for my husband of 40+ years, my grown children and their spouses, my eight grandchildren, all the great people who bless my life, and for the undeserved redemption that is mine in Jesus! Hubster and I live in a small mountain village in the heart of Idaho and are so grateful for the beauty that surrounds us. Oh! I am grateful for my two doggies too!!!

2 responses »

  1. Kim I appreciate your honesty. Haven’t we all been there and done the same things.? As I was reading I was thinking of something I read a long time ago about how Christ fasted his words and reputation and we need to learn that too (me for sure). It IS all about having great grace with one another. It endures you to me even more to hear your words and how we all struggle. Appreciate you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s